Little Things Become Big Things

When the little things in life become the big things, the big things must be put aside. Little things like going to the bathroom; keeping solid food down; managing pain; these have become the focus of daily life.

Not since Gregory was little have I watched and waited so much for just the littlest victories. Philip has joined the fight by offering to get up in the middle of the night if needed, so I can sleep. This too is a little thing that seems huge to me.

It's appropriate I think that the humming birds in the front yard are so vocal about having their nectar put out for them. They are another of the little things that dog me but make for a joyful result.

Mostly over the flu

Except for the fact that this virus tends to try making a comeback if we don't stay vigilant, we are mostly over the flu out here. Mike has had some good days but also some fairly difficult ones. Give us a call on the mobile phones if you'd like to visit.

Hospice

After fighting this thing with every available option, Mike is simply too worn out to continue having chemo. This week we started hospice at the house. Just the fact that there will be no more chemo is such a relief. He is just too tired and getting no benefit from it whatsoever. The numbers just keep rising. We are working with Nathan Adelson Hospice.

At this point in time, the rest of us have the flu. I know some people have asked about visiting and we want to have you over. You are welcome to give us a call pretty much any day. Just be warned that right now is certainly germ warfare offensive time. I'll let everyone know when we are finally rid of it.

Work

It appears as though it may be time for Mike to stop working. We are still discussing things and of course Mike wants to continue working. An unfortunate case of Spirit - Willing, Flesh - Weak. But I think it's time for him to rest.

Today's Appointment

So the numbers are officially telling us it isn't the chemo that's wearing Mike down. It's the cancer. The latest chemo is no longer working. Doc won't give up and neither will Mike. They are petitioning the insurance for general chemo drugs which may or may not work. If the insurance goes for it, and if they have any effect at all, we may have more than 6 months. If either of those don't happen then it's time for hospice. 

We will find out if the insurance gives the green light to try this next week.

Down to the wire

Well folks, I'm tired. We're out of time. Doc is looking at throwing newly approved off label stuff at Mike but I don't even know if the insurance will be convinced it's a good idea. I'm sure not. Side effects are bad enough but it isn't even in pharmacies for it's real purpose yet. Christmas never was good to me anyway.

Today we go in for blood matching. Transfusion tomorrow.

Also, we are in the process of selling the Chesney house. I just can't keep taking a loss on it every month. We already have an offer. Hopefully the banks will not hold this up.

July 2012

This month has been more than a little difficult. After several rounds of the chemo cocktail, Mike was just feeling worse and worse. His PSA was down and his cancer number (parts per thousand or something) went to zero but so did Mike. After a knock down drag out with his doctor, it was decided that he needed a break. So right now, we are on hiatus. Mike's legs began to swell much more than usual and it turned out to be clots this time. The doctor put him on blood thinners and almost right away there was a huge difference.

Mike is walking as well as I've seen in six months. He is feeling much better and is eating everything in sight. Good news since it's my cooking he has to stomach. It's a trade off between time and quality. I want him to be happy and feel well. Right now, that's what matters.

On another subject: I've nicknamed Mr. Reagan, "Satan." I swear he lives to torture me. So not only am I living with St. Michael, now we've added Satan. It explains a lot about my sleepless nights.

Many thanks to Dolores for coming to stay with the boys during my June trip back east. Our parents have been very supportive and I just want them to know we appreciate everything they do.