Rearranging Things

I always seem to be rearranging things. Maybe it's part of trying to find a new "normal." I only do things little by little since I'm not sure exactly where it's all going. Also, the boys are no help at all so it has to go slowly. I did start putting up paper in my bathroom. The other walls I'm going to paint. Eventually. I even have the paint already. I suppose what I need more than anything is the conviction that what I think will work, actually will.

My office is in constant flux these days. Anything I don't know what to do about goes in there. I'm not even sure it's an office anymore. I don't work too much at home anymore. Maybe I should get rid of the desktop computer and opt for using the laptop. No clue.

It's not the decor so much as the utility that gets me stymied. I need another set of eyes. No family around means sitting and planning alone. I hate that. So if anyone wants to come help, I could use some fresh ideas on changing around rooms and purposes.

In a Lifetime of Calculated Risks and Smart Moves...

Today would have been our 28th Anniversary. I'm ok with having made it to 25. Smartest thing I ever did was marry this man. And that's saying something.

Rest in Peace

As of February 25, Mike is finally free of cancer. I apologize for waiting until now to post but I just couldn't face it.

The service in Las Vegas was held on Friday, March 1 at St. Viator Church. There is a second service to be held this coming Friday, March 8 at 10 a.m. in Corona del Mar at Pacific View Memorial Park, 3500 Pacific View Drive. Afterward, there will be a reception in Fountain Valley at my mother's house.

Little Things Become Big Things

When the little things in life become the big things, the big things must be put aside. Little things like going to the bathroom; keeping solid food down; managing pain; these have become the focus of daily life.

Not since Gregory was little have I watched and waited so much for just the littlest victories. Philip has joined the fight by offering to get up in the middle of the night if needed, so I can sleep. This too is a little thing that seems huge to me.

It's appropriate I think that the humming birds in the front yard are so vocal about having their nectar put out for them. They are another of the little things that dog me but make for a joyful result.

Mostly over the flu

Except for the fact that this virus tends to try making a comeback if we don't stay vigilant, we are mostly over the flu out here. Mike has had some good days but also some fairly difficult ones. Give us a call on the mobile phones if you'd like to visit.

Hospice

After fighting this thing with every available option, Mike is simply too worn out to continue having chemo. This week we started hospice at the house. Just the fact that there will be no more chemo is such a relief. He is just too tired and getting no benefit from it whatsoever. The numbers just keep rising. We are working with Nathan Adelson Hospice.

At this point in time, the rest of us have the flu. I know some people have asked about visiting and we want to have you over. You are welcome to give us a call pretty much any day. Just be warned that right now is certainly germ warfare offensive time. I'll let everyone know when we are finally rid of it.

Work

It appears as though it may be time for Mike to stop working. We are still discussing things and of course Mike wants to continue working. An unfortunate case of Spirit - Willing, Flesh - Weak. But I think it's time for him to rest.